


a glimpse of relief

by bluetempest



Category: The Unexpected Heiress (Visual Novel)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Historical, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetempest/pseuds/bluetempest
Summary: On one hand, she was terrified of admitting weakness in the middle of the Somerset estate, where the Dowager Countess could catch her at any moment,  but on the other hand, she was simply too tired to care much at all.
Relationships: Hayes Sisters, John Somerset/Main Character (The Unexpected Heiress)
Kudos: 1





	a glimpse of relief

**Author's Note:**

> tw: mention of canon character death, panic attack

When John had first given her a tour of the estate, on the evening of her arrival at Windcroft Manor, the room that had stood up to her the most was the library. The gardens, while grand and magical underneath the stars, did not hold the heart the library did. Amelia and her had grown up living out fantasies of incredible and heroic adventures in the midst of Central Park, in the corridors of their mansion; their imaginations fueled by the endless list of books they had shared. 

The Windcroft Manor’s library held her strongest connection to her sister, one she refused to let go; this is how Lily found herself curled up on the armchair, a book opened in her lap on one stormy evening. She had forgotten the book hours ago, instead drawn in into her own thoughts. Nothing made sense anymore. A childhood spent acting out fantastical stories with her older sister had not prepared her for the story she walked into, alone, when her boat anchored in England. 

Lily did not want her life to turn into a novel. Yet, as the days, weeks, passed by, she walked deeper in what would sound like the premise of a story her sister would have eagerly picked up on one of their trips to the bookstore. Except her sister was gone. Dead. She would no longer be there to catch Lily while climbing up trees, to stop her from falling. The plot was about Lily trying to figure out who had killed the one person she never imagined living without. 

She had ran out of tears hours ago, but the weight of everything she had uncovered was weighing on her more than ever. Adding to that having to keep up the pretense of her engagement to Francis, even knowing they were in this together and it was likely as difficult for him as it was for her, the unspeakable feeling she felt whenever she found herself with John no matter the situation and the pressure of the entire Somerset family, she felt like she was drowning. 

In an attempt to soften the wave of the panic attack Lily had felt looming over her all day, she closed the book and grabbed the blanket left in the room, most likely by Amelia, to wrap herself in. Mrs Watford would scoff at her for the wrinkles on her evening dress, but in that moment, Lily did not care. Her family was across the ocean, and her sister was no longer there to hold her through the panic as she had done when they were growing up. She felt utterly alone. 

She sat through minutes that felt like hours, panic washing over her, trying to steady her breathing through newfound tears. It is when she heard voices in the corridor that she realized she had not completely closed the door to the library: but she did not find it in herself to care if anyone found her like this. 

“Effie?” The voice sounded like it was miles away from her, yet closer than ever. 

“Yes, Mr John?”

“Do you happen to know where Miss Hayes is? Francis sent me to fetch her before dinner.” 

Lies. Francis never had called for her like this, and he never would. If he had wanted to talk to her, he would have found her on his own, especially if it was about their investigation. They did not try to keep up the illusion of their engagement in private like this.

“Oh, I’m sure she is in the library. Is dinner earlier today? I was not aware, I will go get her right now.”

“No need to trouble yourself, I’ll go myself. Francis simply wanted a minute of her time before dinner. Thank you, Effie.” 

“Of course, Mr John.”

Steps moved away from her refuge, but others came closer and closer. Lily closed in on herself even further, making her form as small as possible, as if she could disappear from view. On one hand, she was terrified of admitting weakness in the middle of the Somerset estate, where the Dowager Countess could catch her at any moment, but on the other hand, she was simply too tired to care much at all.

The door creaked slightly and more light came flooding into the room. 

“Miss Hayes?” 

She knew the moment John found her, because his tone went from formal to worried. 

“Lily?” 

In an instant, he was crouched in front of her armchair, hand resting on the armrest, but still careful to give her enough room. 

“What’s wrong?” 

She wiped at her tears, and tried to steady her breathing enough to speak, in vain. The words would not come out; she had not had to explain her panic attacks to anyone for more than a decade, and in truth, she had not needed to. They were few; and when she found herself feeling this way, Amelia was there to catch her fall.

“It’s okay, take your time. You don't need to talk, just breathe. Do you need anything? Water?” 

She nodded. 

“Alright, I will be right back.” 

And he was back, quicker than she could process he was gone in the first place. He resumed his crouched position, and handed her the glass. She got her hands out of the blanket and took a small sip of water. 

“Thank you.” The words came out with difficulty. 

He gave her time to find her voice again, and she was grateful. The wave of the panic attack receded, slowly, and she found herself navigating her way back. Long minutes passed by, and he did not leave her side. His presence alone grounded her in a way she would never admit out loud; when her eyes finally found his, her first question was simple.

“How did you know?” 

“That you were having a panic attack?” She nodded. “A friend of mine from Francis and I’s childhood had them once in a while. I learned how to help him through them.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” He inquired.

Lily motioned to her general form on the chair and her tearstreaken cheeks. Amelia had told her time and again that she did not need to apologize for feeling, but it was something she could not help. 

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. They happen, and the last few weeks must not have helped.” John gave her the kindest smile she had ever seen grace his face; not pity, just pure understanding. 

“It’s been a … a lot.” She replied. 

“I know.”

She felt his hand get closer to hers, and in the silence of the library, she dared take it and intertwined their fingers. Feelings passed between them without the need for words. 

“You know you can talk to me. Anytime. I may be Francis’ brother, but I’m here for you too. Anything you need. We’re in this together.”

She quietly nodded. She knew; she just wished she did not feel the way she did in his presence. It complicated everything. They had touched on the subject several times; but it never got easier and the feeling never wavered. 

“I guess I was prepared for the pressure of your family, with me taking Amelia’s place. I knew there would be expectations. But with everything else on top of it, learning what … What truly happened to my sister...It got to be too much for a while. I needed to ...”

“Take a breath?”

She nodded. 

“I grew up in this family, and I still struggle. You’re not alone Lily. I promise.” His thumb was running circles on her hand, and she felt calmer, one step at a time.

“I’m here for you too, you know.” She said. “Whatever you need. Like you said, we’re in this together.” He acknowledged her statement with a nod. “So, why were you looking for me?” She asked.

“Truthfully?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“I did not see you today, and with everything happening, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Lily did not ask him if he was worried about her, because she could read the answer in his eyes. With the danger of their investigation, the probability of something happening to her was quite high. Knowing someone cared may not erase the danger, but it made the weight of it slightly lighter.

“Thank you.” She squeezed his hand. 

Before she could add anything else, the first bell announcing dinner rang and she almost jumped off the armchair. John was standing and a respectful distance away in a second, hands behind his back.

“I look like a proper mess. I need to brush my hair and splash cold water on my face before I’m more than fashionably late.”

“I’ll keep the wolves at bay for five minutes, you’ll be fine.” 

As thanks, she left a quick kiss on his cheek and ran to her room. Effie was there waiting for her. 

“Oh Miss Lily, are you quite alright? Did something happen? Mr John was looking for you.”

“It’s all fine Effie. He did find me. I just … I needed a minute to myself.”

“I understand, things cannot be easy. We’ll get you sorted for dinner, and I’m here if you need anything.”

Lily smiled. “I’m truly lucky to have you in my corner, Effie.” 

Effie smiled back to her, sat her down, and got to work. Things may not be easy, and they would most likely get even more difficult the further into the investigation they ventured. But in this moment, Lily felt less alone. She would brave each obstacle as they came into view, with the knowledge someone had her back. 

Starting with dinner with the Dowager Countess.


End file.
